It was a privilege to speak at Alexis's funeral on Wednesday.....This is what I said.
"In the early 1970’s my parents undertook to make a flat available for Alex and to keep an eye on her..
The flat at 76 Great North Road which they found for her become her home and was her security in what became a turbulent and difficult life.
Alex lived there for 43 years, and in that time she knew everyone who came and went in and out of the house.
As my parents became older, keeping an eye on Alex increasingly became my role.
Will life at 76 Great North Road ever be quite the same again?
I am not going to dwell on the problems she faced but would ask each of you to reflect on the fact that mental illness in one form or another affects as many as 1 in 5 of the population at one time or another in our lives. It will have affected some of you sitting here today.
Most people who suffer or have suffered, come through the illness, many as stronger individuals. Some sadly, like Alex find it takes over and affects every aspect of their lives, to the detriment of what the rest of us accept as normal behaviour and normal active lifestyles.
There but for the grace of God goes every one of us.
Whilst often reclusive, Alex never hesitated to tell me what was going on in Great North Road..... She knew the other people in the house and their affection for her has been demonstrated by the messages of sympathy that I received from many of them following her sudden and unexpected death.......at home a couple of weeks ago.
It was however one particularly sad incident some 10 years ago that scarred her life in a different way. For reasons that none of us have or will ever understand, Alex was stabbed by one of the other tenants. What I do know is that on that day the particular tenant, a young French waiter who had lived in the room above Alex for some 18 months without causing any trouble, had clearly been having mental health problems of his own. Alex had recognised his difficulties and had tried during the day to get him to see a doctor,,, In the early evening he had again gone to her door where he was met by both Alexis and her friend Ingrid. By all accounts he lunged at Ingrid with a knife....a frightening experience for anyone but Alexis managed to get herself between the two of them and she herself ended up with a knife wound to her shoulder. I have always believed that Alexis deserved far more credit that she got for possibly saving Ingrid’s life.
It was a night that she never forgot, and was always asking questions about what happened.
Behind that vulnerable exterior I always found a woman who was full of love.
Without exception when I saw her, she asked after my family....wanting to know what each was doing and where they were living....carefully monitoring their progress.....and she talked lovingly of her brother Richard, his children and his wife Melanie, and of other members of our wider family....
Alexis never forgot a birthday.... cards were always sent ....and on occasions presents followed.....
We all have our own memories of Alexis...and she will long be remembered.
My wife Kate likes to remember Alex as she was in 1978, when at Ruth Cohen’s 21st birthday party, she was laughing and joking with everyone else there.....an attractive young woman with beautiful long hair and a ready smile.... Let us try to remember THAT Alex.
Our thoughts and prayers are with her.....and as my very friendly electrician whom Alex liked, but who is now in Dubai ,said when I broke the news to him,,,,,,
Brian he said....”She is in a far better place now,,,,,,”
I could not put it better.
God Bless you Alex."
Brian Salinger
Brian
31st October 2015
In the autumn of 2013, wheeling my disabled mum up and down the Great North Road, we would be sometimes meet Alex, and be greeted by her with a wistful tenderness. She seemed very shy, but we could feel her interest and her affectionate nature too.
Steph
27th October 2015
Alex was a constant in my life, albeit distant, always sending a birthday card and calling to hear the news of my life.
When we were young we used to love visiting her flat, with its treasure trove of surprises. She used to spend so much time with us as little children and made us feel so special.When I was a teenager I was thrilled when she took me shopping in Oxford street and made me feel very grown up. She was always thoughtful of others. Whenever I spoke to her on the phone, she always asked after my mum (Kim), even though she hadn't seen her for years.
She had a beautiful smile, even when she was worried about her teeth, and an infectious giggle.
I'm just sorry that I didn't take more time to visit her in the last few years when she was vulnerable and finding things harder.
She will always live in my heart, and in my family, through my son, Alex, who we named after both her and my grandfather.
Rest in peace now.
Lara X
Lara
27th October 2015